From the book Non-Violent Communication
My friend Holley Humphrey identified some common behaviors that prevent us from being sufficiently present to connect empathically with others. The following are examples:
Advising: “I think you should … ” “How come you didn’t … ?”
One-upping: “That’s nothing; wait’ll you hear what happened to me.”
Educating: “This could turn into a very positive experience for you if you just … ”
Consoling: “It wasn’t your fault; you did the best you could.”
Story-telling: “That reminds me of the time … ”
Shutting down: “Cheer up. Don’t feel so bad.”
Sympathizing: “Oh, you poor thing … ”
Interrogating: “When did this begin?”
Explaining: “I would have called but … ”
Correcting: “That’s not how it happened.”