Lamentation

Lamentation is the ability to touch and express the deepest sorrows a human can experience, typically during a period of grieving the dead. Lamentation isn't one emotion, it's a constellation of emotions based on touching the core wish of "Please return me to a place where this event did not happen!"

Lamentation unlike sadness acknowledges the absolute horror of the event, without trying to predict or control the emotions or experience. Frequently, lamentation will include wailing and screaming. When we listen to a very sad song that as is a form of lamentation.

Lamentations were actually outlawed in Greek culture around 6 BCE (See Resource 1.) Where I live in the US, I can't imagine lamentation being expressed publicly; the funerals I've seen everyone is following a script where the only emotion that is allowed to be visibly displayed is sadness and the only expression of sadness that is allowed is quiet (or nearly quiet) crying.

Wishing to return to "a place where this event did not happen!" calls up a complex and complete set of emotions: anger, sadness, anxiety, panic, disbelief, denial, sadness, etc. Lamentation isn't an emotion, it's an experience, a direct outpouring of sorrow.

Lamentation is the end expression of unlimited sorrow and should be viewed as a requirement for ecstasy.

Resources
On Ancient Greek Lamentation and Women In Democracy

The Ritual Lament in Greek Tradition - Margaret Alexiou

A Meditation Merging Deity Practice with Metta

Time: 40 minutes.

Style:
Somatic awareness - Reginald Ray .
Metta - Sharon Salzberg & TWIM.
Do nothing - Shinzen Young.
Deity Practice - Theoi Hellenist, self lead.
Jhana - Rob Burbea + Leigh Brassington.

Said my deity prayers then had the practice spontaneously arise.

Started with:

May I love and accept myself exactly as I am.

This helps get me into the acceptance mode which is necessary to say the harder lines. After I while I transitioned into:

May I be safe.  
May I be well.  
May I be happy.  
May I be peaceful and at ease.  

Did that for a click, felt pretty good, then transitioned to practice for my deity.

May Ariadne be safe.  
May Ariadne be well.  
May Ariadne be happy.  
May Ariadne be peaceful and at ease.  

Did that for a few clicks, then transitioned to a joined practice.

May we be safe.  
May we be well,  
May we be happy.  
May we be peaceful and at ease.  

At some point Ariadne takes over, and it becomes 10 directions practice.

May all beings be safe.  
May all beings be well.  
May all beings be happy.  
May all beings be peaceful at ease.  

I feel the vows in the background wanting to be integrated with the lines so they morph into:

May all beings realize safety.  
May all beings realize wellness.  
May all beings realize happiness.  
May all beings realize serenity.  

My being starts to walk the jhanic-arc, so integrating that practice becomes:

May all beings realize happiness.  
May all beings realize joy.  
May all beings realize contentment.  
May all beings realize balance.  
May all beings realize presence.  
May all beings realize connection.  
May all beings realize stillness.  
May all beings realize to the dream.  
May all beings realize freedom.  

It gets insanely bright, words drop away, just hang out there until the bell rings.

Meditation on Sensing Agency

These instructions build on this set from Shinzen Young - Do Nothing

Just sit but instead of doing anything notice that quality of mind that asks you to do stuff. You are looking for agency, intention, doing, pushes, grabs, anything that says “pay attention to me.”

Notice where … in the mind these perceptions are. What is it about a sensation that has a sense of doing-ness to it?

If you feel an itch, how do you know to scratch it? Can you trace the chain?

If you want to move, how do you know to move? Can you trace the chain?

If you want to do so-and-so practice, what sensation tells you to do the practice?

If you want to leave the cushion, what sensation tells you to leave the cushion?

If a thought occurs, what sensation says “pay attention to me?” Can you notice the chain?

Can you notice a doing, and … not do it? Really try to not do something.

Meditations on Gender

Disclaimer: I am an advanced technical meditation practitioner. These instructions can reveal a lot about yourself. I don’t know of a similar set of instructions, I used these to help understand if I should transition.

cw: body dysphoria

This work is based on two articles by Zinnia Jones.

That was Dysphoria? 8 signs and symptoms of indirect gender dysphoria.

Depersonalization in gender dysphoria - widespread and widely unrecognized.

You will be trying to sense gender dysphoria and gender euphoria respectively:

Targets

• More ease vs less ease.

• Easier vs harder.

• More emotions vs fewer emotions.

• More agency vs less agency.

• More presence vs less presence.

• More connection vs less connection.

There are actually a few kinds of meditations possible here two kinds: mental and physical.

Alternative Life

Calm your mind using any method you are familiar with. Let yourself enter fantasy. Be non-judgmental … it’s your mind you have complete privacy.

• What would it be like to be a different gender?

• Can you see yourself doing gendered activities? (Example: Makeup?)

• Can you see yourself doing non-gendered activities? (Example: Eating?)

• Who are you socializing with? (What is their gender?)

• Notice your level of engagement (Are you into this? Distracted?)

• If you change genders (yourself) does the imagery change?

Do you feel gender dysphoria?
Do you feel gender euphoria?

Somatic Awareness - Body Exploration

This meditation is about body awareness. It may be uncomfortable for some.

Calm your mind using any method you are familiar with. Be non-judgmental … it’s your body and you have complete privacy.

1. Find a dark quiet place you will not be disturbed.

2. Get naked.

3. Touch yourself on a non-erogenous zone, notice the feeling tone (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral)

4. Touch your genitals – what is the feeling tone? Can you do this without any fabrication?

You are trying to notice the difference between different spots on the body, with as little between you and the sensations as possible. Some spots may be pleasant, some may be unpleasant, some may be neutral. Again look for signs of euphoria vs dysphoria.

(v1.0 - May 20 2020)