I vividly remembering "making the decision" to swear as a child as much as possible. I remember telling myself that swearing made me more accessible to others and it would help mask my brightness.
Since learning this early skill, I've gotten into arguments where I've sworn at people, done the screaming at people in traffic thing, and occasionally swore at people online.
In private, I would swear at tons of people, in my mind. I believed this was a very human thing, very normal.
I'm entering a transitory part of my enlightenment journey where path is coming for my swears.
A few years ago, I got the stop swearing dialog box after a bright sit.
You should stop swearing. Do you stop (Y/N)?
I felt that was pretty lame, so I said no. I didn't really understand the impact swearing had on me.
About a year ago the dialog box appeared again, again after a bright sit.
You should stop swearing. (Y/N)?
Yes - Press Enter to confirm.
A bit more urgent, but I pressed Esc, and moved on.
In the last few days as I've been swimming in a bath of more or less infinite joy and piti, I find that if I swear, the piti feeling ... lessens. If I even intention a swear word, the cocoon of joy pops.
So this time around I'm taking a vow to not swear. Not because anyone told me, or it's a rule, or because I want to cultivate virtue and not swearing is virtuous, but because swearing directly impacts my own happiness in real time.
I just never had the sensitivity to notice. I'm trying to stay in a place of non-stop Metta, non-stop love for myself and others and this action is now locked out to me.