This is a DBT Crisis Survival and Distress Tolerance flowchart. It uses the skills from Marsha Linehan's book.
I made it for my fridge, because when I'm in crisis, I can't really remember anything.
These skills are meant to be learned in a DBT skills class, or one-on-one with a therapist (DBT is an entire therapy modality); however, if you have access to neither, the materials are below to explain what each of the skills are.
The chart is meant to serve as a printable shorthand in-crisis reminder to use skills vs making the crisis worse.
There are a lot of ways to organize and think about feelings, which are internal emotions without words or thoughts. I use a feelings wheel based on NVC (Non-violent Communication).
Two groups of six: needs being met, needs not being met.
Needs Met
Pride (Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, Encouraged, Powerful)
This is a list of questions designed to invite reflection about what to look for in a teacher.
Has kindness, compassion, forgiveness, attunement, and understanding.
Do they seek to understand? Empathize? Validate? Forgive? Are they soothing? Do you feel safe around them? Do others? Are they friendly towards the world? Others?
On a path they teach, advocate and live.
A pastor at a church might advocate Christianity, a monk at a local temple might practice Zen, or someone on a YouTube channel might be a stoic. There is a path of practice and they are living their path.
Points towards behaviors leading towards changes.
We change by doing something different. That could be: inner-work, prayer, art, meditation, grounding, orienting, Radical Acceptance, school, therapy, being in nature, building a social network, etc. A teacher knows a variety of behaviors leading towards changes.
Admits, owns, and apologizes for their mistakes.
It’s easy to hide parts of ourselves, especially the unflattering parts like mistakes and failures. These parts are just additional chapters in the story though. A teacher desiring for our welfare can share these unflattering parts to help others avoid unnecessary hardship and to re-affirm their shared humanity.
The saying here is, “The Master has failed more than the apprentice has tried.”
Doesn’t transcend their own humanity.
Along the same lines as mistakes … wants, desires, and feelings are an integral part of our humanity. They point towards the deepest aspects of ourselves. The alternative to acknowledging our wants, desires and feelings is dissociation and aversion.
Acknowledges the dark side of themselves.
Mistakes, transcending humanity, and internal darkness all have one thing in common – duality. A teacher should have a practice to integrate, validate, manage and/or holistically accept these things.
Has emotions you’d want (happiness, contentment, balance).
Are they: Content? Balanced? Harmonious? Happy? Joyous? Equanimous?
Has a life you understand.
Does their life seem worth living? You don’t have to want to live their lifestyle but … can you agree with how they live? Can you see the merit in their lifestyle?
Is accessible.
How do you visit or talk to them? Do you have to pay each time?
Manages their conceit and hypocrisy.
If this person knows their stuff, when they share their knowledge, do they arouse emotions in others that aren’t helpful? (Like envy, disdain, resentment, etc.) Do they seem modest? Avoids arguments? Do they have reasonable claims you can believe? Do others? Do they claim to have a path, or the one true path? What do they consider wealth? How do they manage it?
