Attachment Styles

The below is from Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair – Daniel P. Brown, David S. Elliott

These items are unchanged and appear on page 108 of the above text.

Secure Attachment

  • Seeks emotional closeness with others
  • Able to establish emotional intimacy
  • Comfortable with mutual dependence
  • Comfortable being alone
  • Positive self-image and other image
  • Warm and open with others
  • Accepts criticism without significant distress
  • Strong sense of self
  • Self-esteem
  • Self-observational skills
  • Self-reflective skills
  • Able to trust in relationship
  • Relationships tend to be stable, lasting
  • Open with others about feelings
  • Positive feelings about relationships
  • Balanced experience of emotions—neither too little nor too much
  • Values attachment

Dismissing Attachment

  • Avoidance of getting close or being intimate
  • Discomfort with closeness
  • Ambivalence
  • Dismissing behaviors
  • Aloofness and contempt
  • Mistrust about depending on others
  • Difficulty getting close
  • Preference for remaining distant
  • Fear of closeness
  • Lack of emotion or minimization of emotional expression
  • Discomfort with opening up, especially about private thoughts
  • False self
  • Pulls away if someone gets close
  • Illusion of self-sufficiency
  • Alexithymia

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

  • Excessive worry about relationships
  • Worry that one’s partner won’t care as much as he or she does
  • Obsessive preoccupation with and rumination about the relationship
  • Excessive need for approval
  • Ignoring signs of trouble in the relationship
  • Fear of scaring people away
  • Fear of abandonment/rejection/criticism
  • Resentment when partner spends time away from the relationship
  • Angry withdrawal
  • Frustration if partner is not available
  • Feels extremely upset/depressed when receives disapproval
  • Easily upset, with intensified displays of distress or anger
  • Jealousy
  • Fear of being alone
  • Compulsive caretaking
  • Submissive, acquiescent, suggestible
  • Seeks attachment at the expense of autonomy
  • Work, school, or friends get less attention than the relationship partner
  • Compulsive care-seeking
  • Partner describes self as “smothered” or “suffocated”
  • Eager to be with partner all the time
  • Needs excessive reassurance
  • Clinging, demanding, nagging, sulking
  • Desire to merge
  • Attempts to win favor or impress
  • Forces responses from partner
  • Self-centeredness, showing off, center of attention

Disorganized/Fearful Attachment

Disorganized Internal World

  • Dysregulated psychophysiological state
  • Affect dysregulation (too much or too little)
  • Lapses in self-observation or monitoring
  • Discontinuous self-states and affect states
  • Cognitive distortion, confusion, and drive-dominated thinking

Disorganized Behavior

  • Impaired self-agency and goal-directed behavior
  • Inhibition of exploration and play

Disorganized Attachment Behavior

  • Activation of contradictory attachment strategies
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Submissive or excessive caretaking behaviors
  • “Stable instability” in relationships
  • Defensive aggression and helplessness
  • Inability to elicit desired responses

v1.1 7-Mar-2022
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