This is a list of questions designed to invite reflection about what to look for in a teacher.
Has kindness, compassion, forgiveness, attunement, and understanding
Do they seek to understand? Empathize? Validate? Forgive? Are they soothing? Do you feel safe around them? Do others? Are they friendly towards the world? Others?
On a path they teach, advocate and live
A pastor at a church might advocate Christianity, a monk at a local temple might practice Zen, or someone on a YouTube channel might be a stoic. There is a path of practice and they are living their path.
Points towards behaviors leading towards changes
We change by doing something different. That could be: inner-work, prayer, art, meditation, grounding, orienting, Radical Acceptance, school, therapy, being in nature, building a social network, etc. A teacher knows a variety of behaviors leading towards changes.
Admits, owns, and apologizes for their mistakes
It's easy to hide parts of ourselves, especially the unflattering parts like mistakes and failures. These parts are just additional chapters in the story though. A teacher desiring for our welfare can share these unflattering parts to help others avoid unnecessary hardship and to re-affirm their shared humanity.
The saying here is, "The Master has failed more than the apprentice has tried."
Doesn't transcend their own humanity
Along the same lines as mistakes ... wants, desires, and feelings are an integral part of our humanity. They point towards the deepest aspects of ourselves. The alternative to acknowledging our wants, desires and feelings is dissociation and aversion.
Acknowledges the dark side of themselves
Mistakes, bypassing, transcending, and internal darkness all have one thing in common -- duality. A teacher should have a practice to integrate, validate, manage and holistically accept all parts of themselves.
Has emotions you'd want (happiness, contentment, balance)
Are they: Content? Balanced? Harmonious? Happy? Joyous? Equanimous?
Has a life you understand
Does their life seem worth living? You don't have to want to live their lifestyle but ... can you agree with how they live? Can you see the merit in their lifestyle?
Accessible
How do you visit or talk to them? Do you have to pay each time?
Manages their conceit and hypocrisy
If this person knows their stuff, when they share their knowledge, do they arouse emotions in others that aren't helpful? (Envy, disdain, resentment, etc.) Can they be modest? Avoids arguments? Are their claims reasonable? Do they claim to have a path, or the one true path? What do they consider wealth? How do they manage it?
Antigoals
Stuff you probably want to avoid
The Advaita Trap - Confusing the Absolute and the Relative
How to Identify Narcissists by their actions
v1.4 - Last edit 21-Jan-2025
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