This is a work-in-progress

Philosophy

To Relax.

Do No Harm

Meditation can be uncomfortable, the amount of discomfort I would set as a boundary is hygine discomfort, i.e. as painful as brushing teeth, making a meal, or taking a bath.

If it hurts more than that, I would encourage you to stop.

How much time

I would pick an amount you view as trivial, these are all valid picks:

  • 5 seconds
  • 10 seconds
  • 30 seconds
  • 1 minute
  • etc.

Posture

The same posture you might use to watch a movie or play a video game.

Goals

  • Relief
  • Staying with a neutral or positive object

Core Skills

  • Renunciation, another way to say this is letting go.
  • Kindfulness, the merging of mindfulness with kindness.

What does letting go mean?

  • Setting down the past, worrying about that later
  • Setting down the future, worrying about that later
  • Setting down painful emotions

Is there a correct way to let go?

Yes, with kindness.

Don't I have to ...

No.

How to Practice

Two general things are usually in the mind:

  • Thoughts
  • Awareness

Meditation is learning how to place emphasis on specific mental objects for benefit.

Awareness of the Body via Touch

  • Rub your hands together
  • Wiggling toes
  • Petting a soft object (Plushie, Cat, Dog, etc.)

Awareness of the Body via Breath

  • To gain awareness of the breath, vary your speed
  • Practice letting go of control of the breath

Awareness of the Mind via Imagination

  • Visualize a nature scene (a flower, a beach, a sunset)
  • Visualize something simple (blue mist)

Awareness of the Mind via Recollection

  • Remember a nice place you visited
  • Remember a nice person you interacted with

Awareness of the Mind via Deeds

  • Remember a time you did a good deed

Awareness of the Mind via Mantra

These are very good for early meditaiton work to cultivate conditions we don't have.

I would encourage conversational pace, like talking to a friend. Put a pause of 3 seconds on the end, for time to feel an emotion that could arise.

I put (and recommend) "may" in front of these so they don't involve force.

  • "May I be OK with stuff being in awareness"
  • "May I enjoy spending time with myself."
  • "May I enjoy practicing kindness with myself."
  • "May I let go of being a perfectionist."
  • "May I be OK with mistakes."
  • "May I judge myself less."
  • "May I forgive myself for not understanding."
  • "May I forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself."
  • "May I hate myself less."
  • "May I learn to trust my own sensations."

If pleasant sensations (like calm, or happiness or relaxation) appear doing the above, I savor them, then I try and remember what I did to reach this pleasant state. The danger is thinking repeating the exact same steps works, every time. That's what makes this practice, learning what works and what doesn't with kindness.

A tremendous kindness we can give ourselves is ... just knowing what's going on inside ourselves. Judgement doesn't seem to help, when I judge myself I say "that's OK" and watch the judgement. Kindness heals judgement, not more judgement.

I wouldn't push for force myself, kindness doesn't arrive via force, we are not trying to overpower the mind.

I remind myself that if what I'm doing is making my meditation worse, I shouldn't do it. I pick other things to do.

Mantras

When I find it's too hard to observe, or I notice my thoughts are speeding up, I try and ground myself in a mantra, which is just an intention I repeat over and over again. One of my teachers said it's like casting seeds, sometimes we may need to cast a lot of seeds, and that's OK.

I never repeat a mantra I don't agree with. I don't want to lie to myself. Pick one (or a few):

  • "May I enjoy spending time with myself."
  • "May I enjoy practicing kindness with myself."
  • "May I practice self-compassion."
  • "May I let go of expectations."
  • "May I judge myself less."
  • "May I let go of perfectionism."
  • "May I enjoy being vs doing."
  • "May I forgive myself for not understanding."
  • "May I forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself."
  • "May I hate myself less."
  • "May I learn to trust my own sensations."

Additional Mantras: Foster's Mantras

Ending Early

Also OK.

I sometimes end early, especially self-guided meditations. I'll try to do some other gentle mindfulness activity like going for a walk.

v1.4 - Last edit 8-Jan-2025

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