My practice of Metta
I come from a trauma background, so my default intentions without training are: inward self-hate, or outward misanthropy.
When I started practicing Metta, I was told to imagine the usual set: babies, cats, dogs, plants, fictional characters -- and send them love, warmth, good vibes.
I haven't felt enough love over the course of this lifetime to have a target to recall ... let alone send anyone it. Several times I was suicidal afterwards. I couldn't feel love, but I certainly felt despair.
My hope is to share my understanding of Metta via Path of Discrimination and how it shows a lower spoon cost to practice Metta.
- Metta is on a spectrum, between easier intentions (intending beings to be free from cruelty) towards harder ones (intending beings towards bliss)
A good shortcut to understand Metta ...
Metta is the opposite of cruelty.
Metta comes in two main variations, a wish for beings to be free from something, and a wish for beings to have something.
Metta is the antidote to ill-will. From the Pts ...
Eight Aspects of Metta
- Non-oppression vs oppression
- Non-injury vs Injury
- Non-disappointment vs disappointment
- Non-deprivation vs deprivation
- Non-harrassment vs harrassment
- Freedom from enmity, not inimical
- Pleasure not pain
- Bliss not pain
Example 1 - Others away from home
- I am not at home
- My mind has been trained into misanthoropy
- I feel pained, empty, agitated, dissatisfied, conceited, (it's a long list)
- I see a stranger.
- A thought: "I hate this person"
- I recall, "ill-will hurts a lot, can I do something about it?"
- I recall the Pts instructions (what's on this page about specific intentions and targets)
- I substitute Metta for Ill-will: "Well, I don't want them to be oppressed"
- I feel some relief
Example 2 - Towards myself, at home
- I am at home.
- My mind has been trained into misanthoropy
- I feel pained, empty, agitated, dissatisfied, conceited, (it's a long list)
- I see family.
- A thought: "I hate this person"
- I recall, "ill-will hurts a lot, can I do something about it?"
- I recall the Pts instructions (what's on this page about specific intentions and targets)
- I substitute Metta for Ill-will: "Well, I don't want to build enmity, I don't want us to both hate each other"
- I feel some relief
There are a lot of words here I don't really understand, so I looked them up in the OED.
Intentions away from
| Freedom From | OED Number | Definition |
|---|---|---|
| Oppression | 2a | Prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or exercise of authority, control, or power; tyranny; exploitation. |
| Injury | 1 | Wrongful action or treatment; violation or infringement of another's rights; suffering or mischief wilfully and unjustly inflicted. With an and plural, A wrongful act; a wrong inflicted or suffered. |
| Disappointment | 2c | ... the feeling or emotion produced by the non-fulfilment of an expectation, intention, or desire; esp. frustration, displeasure, or dejection caused by failure to achieve a hoped-for or anticipated outcome. |
| Deprivation | 3 | A lack of adequate resources or of education, care, etc., leading to a low standard of living or reduced opportunities in life. |
| Harassment | 2 | spec. Unwarranted (and now esp. unlawful) speech or behaviour causing annoyance, alarm, distress, or intimidation, usually occurring persistently over a period of time. Frequently with modifying word specifying the type of harassment involved. Cf. harass v. 5. See also sexual harassment n. |
| Enmity | 2a | The condition of being an enemy; a state of mutual hostility; esp. in phrase at or in enmity. |
| Inimical | 1 | Having the disposition or temper of an enemy; unfriendly, hostile. |
| Pain | 3c | The state or condition of consciousness arising from mental or physical suffering (opposed to pleasure; cf. pleasure-pain n.); distress; (occasionally) an instance of this. Frequently with in. Also in plural in same sense. |
Notice that most of these focus on fairness.
Intentions toward
These intentions are harder, I haven't practiced with them much.
| Intended Toward | OED Number | Definition |
|---|---|---|
| Safety | I.1.a | The state of being protected from or guarded against hurt or injury; freedom from danger. Frequently in in safety. |
| Bliss | 2b | Mental, ethereal, spiritual: perfect joy or felicity, supreme delight; blessedness. |
References
Textual Intention
From Pts: "Let all being be free from enimity, safe and blissful."
The Path of Discrimination or Pts., a Pali Canon, Theravada Buddhist text.
A local PDF See section XIV - Treatise of Loving Kindness.
v2.4 - Last edit 22-Apr-2025
This work dedicated to the Public Domain via CC0 1.0